


The Rising of the Wood

by rejectedusername



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, Fake AH Crew, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rejectedusername/pseuds/rejectedusername
Summary: Geoff gets news of his former crew-mates coming into town and needs the FAHC to prepare for that. The only problem is that they can’t find The Vagabond. They think he might have been compromised and they track his phone to see where he might be captured. Instead of finding a captured Vagabond, they find a sickeningly domestic sight.Sequel to "Fake” Prostitute





	The Rising of the Wood

Life at the Fake AH Crew was going pretty normal, or at least as normal as being a part of a criminal empire could be. The crew had successfully taken down the Vagos, which was relatively easy considering that the crew was in chaos after they lost their funding. After that, the Fake AH Crew had reaffirmed their place on top of the criminal food chain of Los Santos.

The crew had time to keep their empire on top, but they had also managed to keep active personal lives. Most of the crew had managed to find time for romance. Jack and Geoff had finally found romantic comfort in each other and fell into a loving relationship. Out of pity, Ryan set Gavin up on a date with another mercenary friend of his from outside of the crew, and the relationship between Gavin and the mercenary had been going strong. Michael had begun a relationship with a member of the crew’s backup team, named Lindsay, and Jeremy had found comfort in doing his job; having no patience for romance. 

As for Ryan’s romantic life, he and his fiancé, Jon Risinger, had gotten married after the FAHC had taken care of the Vagos. The crew had planned the wedding and made it in the same chaotic way that they typically seemed to make most things. The planning process had annoyed Ryan, but Jon was more amused by the nonsense than anything. The wedding went off without a hitch. The reception included a burglary of venue where the wedding was held; it was chaotic and violent as anyone would expect from the Fake AH Crew. Jon convinced Ryan to just have fun with it since it was their big day, and nobody could make Ryan go quite as soft as Jon could.

A couple years had passed since Ryan’s wedding and the crew decided that they deserved a night off from their usual shenanigans. Jack was lounging in the crew’s penthouse living room on the couch with Jeremy, watching TV. “Is there anything you wanna watch?” Jeremy asked.

“Hm,” Jack started to think. “We could watch Aquaman because I’ve heard decent things about it. But, I wanna wait for Geoff since he’s gonna wanna watch with us.”

“Where did he run off to?”

Jack shrugged. “I think he went to his office for a phone call.”

Jeremy nodded. “Do you want to go check on him?”

“Sounds like a good idea. Wanna go see if the other Lads want to watch a movie, too?”

“Sure,” Jeremy replied. Then he stood up and walked to the bedrooms of the other Lads.

Jack sighed and stood up. He walked out of the living room and down to Geoff’s office. He opened the door and saw that Geoff was still on the phone.

“No, no. I promise you that everything is fine with the dynamic of my crew,” he heard Geoff say into the phone.

Geoff paused to let whoever he was on the phone with speak. “Well, Jack and I started dating, but you knew that,” he continued. He paused again listening. “Michael and Gavin even found little girlfriends so they’re in check, in that department,” he explained further. Then, Geoff paused again. Jack entered silently, and Geoff didn’t even look up at him. “Look, the Vagabond’s personal life isn’t my business to share. Yeah, I know some of what’s going on with it-” He cut off. “I promise you that everything will be in order for when you and the guys come to visit.” Geoff paused one more time and sighed. “I’ll see you soon, Burnie.” He hung up the phone and groaned loudly. 

“So, Burnie from your old crew is coming to visit?” Jack asked, making Geoff jump.

Geoff regained his composure. “Try the entire Blood Gulch Crew,” he explained.

“I thought that crew disbanded after you left?”

“Yeah, we all figured it was time to do our own things. Burnie went to Liberty City, Gus went to Vice City, and Matt and Joel went to San Andreas. They figured that it would be a good time for a reunion and I guess they figured that Los Santos would be the best location for it.”

Jack nodded. “Why were you talking to Burnie about the personal lives of everyone in the crew?” Jack repeated his question.

“Well I’m not exactly sure how he found out about this but,” he paused and gulped. “He knows about the internal crew conflict we had where we were all pining for Ryan.”

“Oh,” Jack said, blinking. “Well, Ryan got married to someone outside of our crew,” he said. He walked over to Geoff and wrapped his arms around his waist. “And we all found love of our own, so the pining that we all did is all in the past because we’ve all moved on.” Then, he placed a kiss on Geoff’s cheek. 

Geoff smiled. “Jack, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now come on, Jeremy and I were gonna watch a movie. We were thinking about watching Aquaman.”

“As nice as that sounds, I think I’d like to talk to the crew and let them know my old crew is having a reunion and coming into town.”

Jack sighed. “Fine. I think Jeremy might have gotten the rest of the Lads to join us for movie night.”

“Perfect! I knew there was a reason I loved you.”

Jack rolled his eyes and he and Geoff walked over to the living room. They saw Jeremy and Michael sitting on the couch. “I thought you were gonna get all the Lads,” he said to Jeremy.

“I tried.” Jeremy replied.

“Gavin was being weird and his girlfriend has a job out of the country this week, so he’s Skyping her or something,” Michael added.

“Well, before we can start crew movie night, we need to have a quick meeting,” Geoff announced.

“Ugh, lame,” Jeremy complained.

“I’ll go get to the shithead,” Michael said as he got up.

“And see if you can grab Ryan while you’re up,” Geoff said.

Michael rolled his eyes and walked to Gavin’s room. He slammed the door open. “Impromptu crew meeting!” .

“GAH!” Gavin yelped.

 _“What’s wrong babe?_ ” Gavin’s girlfriend asked.

“Sorry, love, Michael startled me,” Gavin replied.

“This meeting is either gonna be really important or really stupid, but Geoff wants to have it now, so you’re gonna need to wrap this call up,” Michael said.

“I…” Gavin stuttered.

“ _Gavin, if you have work to do, don’t let me keep you from it. I’ll still be setting up my hit job when you get back,_ ” Gavin’s girlfriend said.

Gavin sighed. “You’re the best,” he replied with a smile.

“ _I know._ ”

Gavin snorted, “I love you, Meg.”

 _And I love you, too. Goodnight, boy._ ”

“Goodnight, girl,” he said as he blew Meg a kiss. Meg caught the kiss, put it on her lips, then hung up the call.

“Come on,” Michael said as he waved for Gavin to follow him.

“You know, I wouldn’t have done that if you were Skyping with Lindsay,” Gavin replied with a huff.

Michael rolled his eyes. “Lindsay works with us, so she’s probably not gonna travel across the globe as much. Now come on, we have to find Ryan, too.”

Gavin sighed in dismay and followed Michael out of the room They checked Ryan’s room, but it was empty. Then they check the B-Team room, the penthouse game room, the rest of the crews’ rooms, and the meeting board room where they normally planned their heists, but there was still no Ryan. 

They walked back out to the living room. “Did you guys actually look for Ryan?” Geoff asked, impatiently.

“Yeah!” Gavin exclaimed in defense.

“And he’s not in the penthouse,” Michael said.

“Well, where the hell could he be?” Geoff asked.

“He could be in the gym downstairs,” Jeremy said.

Geoff got up. “Well, come on guys, let’s go get him.”

“Do we all really need to go get him?”

“Yep, if he sees all of us, he’ll know that this meeting is important.”

The crew groaned and got up out of their seats. Geoff waved them on and they all followed him downstairs to the crew’s gym.

“Ryan, we’re having a crew meeting!” Geoff called out into the gym when they got down there. The rest of the crew looked around , but the gym looked empty at the moment.

“Geoff, I don’t think anyone is down here,” Gavin said.

“I’ll check the locker room,” Michael volunteered.

“You do that, then,” Geoff replied. Michael nodded and ran off to the gym locker room. Suddenly, Jack’s eyes widened. Geoff noticed Jack’s face change. “Babe?”

“I just remembered that Ryan asked for tonight off,” Jack replied in embarrassment.

“Shit, he normally does something reckless when he takes ‘nights off,” Jeremy replied.

“Normally?” Geoff asked.

“Remember when he and Jon were having an argument and he asked for a night off? He came back a few days later covered in bruises and his wrists were sore. He said that he and Jon’s fight was over, but it was clear that he had to have done something stupid to fix it." 

"I know he told me why he asked for the night off, tonight, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember why,” Jack said.

“Fuck…” Geoff trailed off

“He’s not in the locker room,” Michael said as he ran back to the crew.

“Apparently, we forgot that Ryan asked for the night off tonight, but we can’t remember why he asked for off,” Geoff explained. 

“Damn, the Vagabond could be causing mayhem anywhere.”

“I can track his crew phone to get a location on him,” Gavin offered.

“Great. Let’s go back upstairs and find our Vagabond,” Geoff commanded the rest of the crew. They all nodded and followed Geoff back upstairs.

Once the crew got back upstairs, Gavin dashed back to his room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Michael called after him.

“TO TRACK RYAN’S PHONE, LIKE I SAID,” Gavin yelled back.

The crew followed Gavin’s voice back to his room. They found him hard at work on his computer. “What do you have?” Geoff asked.

“Well, you put a tacker chip in every time you get us new phone. I’m the one in charge of deactivating the trackers when the phones get disposed of. Ryan’s tracker chip is still active so I can find his phone, and probably find him, as well,” Gavin explained.

“Well?” Geoff nervously replied.

“Patience, Geoffrey,” he said as he continued to pull up the right programs to track Ryan’s phone. After a few minutes he was able to pull up to the location of the phone. “And there we have it,” he announced.

Everyone looked at the phone location that was displayed on the computer. “Wait, is that Rockford Hills?” Jeremy asked.

“It appears so.”

“What the hell is Ryan’s phone doing in a residential area?” Michael asked.

“No idea.”

“We have safe houses in that area. You never know if some other smalltime crew has a safe house there and they pissed Ryan off or something,” Geoff speculated.

“Hm,” Gavin started. He plugged the address of the building the phone was located in into his security disabling program that he had originally made to use for heists, but the building didn’t seem to have any electronic security to speak of. “This particular house doesn’t seem to have any electronic security system, so it won’t cause any unnecessary commotion if we silently break in.”

“Perfect, let’s go save us a Vagabond,” Geoff announced. The Lads nodded and ran out of the room. Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. “Jack?” he asked.

“Something about this break-in here doesn’t feel right. What if this house just belongs to Ryan as his place of residence outside of crew life?” Jack said.

“That sounds ridiculous.”

“He does have a husband that he may want to share a typical domestic life with outside of the criminal world with.”

“Did you forget that his husband is also a criminal who’s heavily involved in the Los Santos underground? I doubt they have any sort of domestic life. Now come on,” Geoff argued as he rushed out of the room. Jack sighed in defeat and followed behind him.

Forty-five minutes later, they pulled up in front of the house were Ryan’s phone had been located. Jack looked out the window of the truck they had all piled into. “It doesn’t look like anybody’s home,” he pointed out.

“That’s probably what they want you to think,” Michael argued from the back of the truck.

“Let’s get up to the front door,” Geoff said.

“I’ll pick the lock.” Gavin offered.

“I’m glad we’re trying to do this quietly, I’m still a bit sad that we had to give up movie night for this,” Jeremy said.

“Let’s go,” Geoff said as he opened his door and got out of the truck. The rest of the Lads followed suit. Jack loudly sighed before he got out of the truck. By the time Jack caught up to the crew, Gavin had successfully picked the lock. “Ready? One, two,” then Geoff slammed the door open. “FREEZE!” he yelled.

The crew didn’t hear anything at first, but then they heard the sound of a dog barking. “Is an attack dog coming after us or…” Jeremy tried to ask, but was cut off by a giant St. Bernard barreling towards him. The dog tackled him to the ground and began slobbering him with kisses.

The crew aimed their guns at the dog. At the sound of the guns cocking, the dog climbed off of Jeremy and began whining. “Wait a minute,” Jack said. He felt up the wall and found a light switch. He flipped the lights on and found that they were in what looked like a completely normal entrance hallway.

“You guys can put your guns down for the moment, he…” Jeremy paused and saw the dog tag on the dog’s collar and read its name. “I mean, _she_ , didn’t actually hurt me. She just scared me and gave me a bunch of kisses.” He got up and shut the front door. The dog sat down and wagged her tail wildly.

“Not a very good guard dog,” Michael said. Jeremy shrugged and gave the dog a pat.

“Come on, let’s go find who’s captured Ryan and where they’re keeping him,” Geoff said. The crew nodded and went off to explore the house.

While walking through the living room, Gavin heard a strange rumbling coming from a fluffy lump on the couch that didn’t quite look like a pillow. He went over to inspect the oddly shaped lump. As soon as he touched the lump, a cat’s head popped up. “Oh, hello,” he greeted the cat. The cat got up, stretched, and began to sniff Gavin’s hand. The cat began to rub against Gavin’s hand. “Well, aren’t you a friendly one,” he cooed.

Jack walked into the living room and saw that Gavin was distracted by the cat. “Gavin, I thought you were trying to find Ryan,” he said.

“I was, but then, Mister…” Gavin paused to check the cat’s collar to find its name. “…Vernon, here decided to be lovely company.”

Jack sighed. “You know, I’m not so sure that the Vagabond is in any trouble, here,” he said.

“Why do you feel that?”

“This feels too domestic for that,” he admitted.

“Do you really thing Ryan would be okay with a peaceful domestic life?”

“There are clearly more sides to Ryan than he’s willing to show us, and I think he still wouldn’t want us to know about things after the whole pining fiasco.”

“Maybe you’re right. Even though I thought we earned his trust back.”

“He may trust us, again, but that wouldn’t mean he’d comfortable showing us everything.”

“I suppose…” Gavin trailed off.

“I found a torture chamber here!” Michael called out from down the hall.

“Really?” Jack asked in surprise.

“Yeah, but it was really weird,” Michael said as he walked in the living room. “It’s super clean in there, like it smelled like Febreze. The slings and gangs to hold and silence victims still is super colorful and tacky. There were no knives, only oddly shaped vibration devices, and there was a first aid kit. Who the fuck keeps a first aid kit in a torture chamber?!”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “That sounds really weird for a torture chamber.”

“Guys, I found Ryan’s crew phone but no Ryan,” Jeremy said as he walked back into the living room.

“Where did you find it?” Gavin asked.

“In the master bedroom. on a side table, charging, which is a really weird place to keep a hostage’s phone.”

“That is… kinda odd,” Gavin said.

“Maybe Ryan’s not being captured here…”

“I really don’t think he’s been…” Jack was cut off by the sound of the garage door opening. “Shit.”

“Let’s hide by the door into the house from there, so we can jump them by surprise,” Michael suggested.

“Maybe we don’t…” Jack started to say, but he saw that the Lads had already darted for hiding spots. Michael turned out the light. Jack sighed and walked to the area where the Lads were hiding. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said.

“Nonsense, this is…” Gavin was interrupted by the door opening.

Ryan and Jon walked into the house dressed for an evening out, and everybody’s jaws dropped. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner,” Jon said to Ryan.

Ryan smirked. “The evening’s not over yet,” he said smugly.

“Oh?” Jon replied with a devious smirk. The dog came trotting into the hallway “Oh hello, deary,” he greeted the dog and gave her a quick pet. 

Ryan leaned down to pet the dog. “Oh, darling Clarice, Papa is trying have some fun with Daddy,” Ryan said as he stood back up and pulled Jon into a kiss. The dog blinked and walked over to the side.

Ryan’s tongue entered Jon’s mouth and Jon blinked in surprise. He quickly decided to go along with it and his tongue invaded Ryan’s mouth in return. Ryan reached up and began to unbutton the button’s on Jon’s dress shirt. Jon pulled away. “Eager, aren’t we?” Jon teased.

“I’m not sorry for being eager to please my beautiful husband.”

“Wouldn’t you rather do this in our bedroom?”

“It’s our house, we can fuck in any room we want to.”

“Well then,” Jon said as he smirked and pulled Ryan back into a kiss. Ryan continued to unbutton Jon’s shirt while Jon began undoing Ryan’s belt. 

“What the fuck,” Michael murmured.

Suddenly, Geoff ran up to the scene with his gun raised. “I know you have the Vagabond’s weapons, so where the fuck are you keeping him, you sick…” Geoff paused his rant when he realized that the crew that had captured the Vagabond was really just Ryan and Jon being intimate.

Jon jumped away from his kiss with Ryan to looked over at Geoff. “Oh… I didn’t know we were expecting guests tonight,” he said, shyly, as his flushed in embarrassment.

Ryan took in the scene, his face turning red as he glowered. “We weren’t,” he growled.

Geoff gulped. “Geoff, maybe we should get out of here…” Michael whispered up to Geoff.

Ryan stepped away from Jon, his expression a fearsome display of anger. “There’s more of you?!” he shouted. The rest of the crew got up from their hiding places. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!” 

Jon rubbed Ryan’s shoulder. “Calm down, dear. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this,” he said.

“Well, I’ve got a question. Why the hell weren’t you keeping your crew phone on you?!” Geoff exclaimed.

“Tonight, is a special night for Jon and I, so I asked for tonight off! I thought you would at least respect that!” Ryan shouted.

“Deciding that it was date night for you and your husband shouldn’t make you ignore crew business, I thought you were better than that!”

Jacks eyes widened in realization as he suddenly reminded of why Ryan had really asked for the night off. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, Rye. We shouldn’t have done this to you tonight.”

“Jack?” Gavin asked.

“I just remembered the real reason he asked for the night off.”

“Yeah, to have date night with his husband,” Michael said.

“IT’S THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF OUR MARRIAGE, YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK!” Ryan yelled.

The crew’s eyes widened in horror; their faces flushed in shame. “Shit… I feel like a dick, now…” Jeremy said.

“That’s because you are.”

“Fuck, now even I feel bad,” Geoff admitted.

“You all should feel ashamed of yourselves for breaking into Jon’s and my home on our anniversary!”

“I’m sorry… It’s just that I have a big event coming up that I need the crew, and especially you, to be prepared for…”

“Well, I’m not sure I’m willing to deal with this, right now!”

“But…”

“NO!”

“Honey,” Jon said to get Ryan’s attention. “I think you should hear them out. Take care of business with them so that they’ll leave sooner and we can go back to what we were doing.”

“I…” Ryan started to argue, but Jon brushed his palm against one of Ryan’s cheeks and smooched the other. Ryan’s scowl turned into a soft smile. Then he sighed in defeat and focused his attention back on his crew. “Geoff and Jack can follow me to my office to discuss things. Lads can come back too if they’re needed. And let’s get this done quick because I want you to get the hell out of my house!”

“It might be a good idea to all get together and just talk about it all at once,” Jack said.

“Does it have something to with your old crew?” Jeremy asked.

“How did you…”

“I heard you on the phone with someone talking about Blood Gulch Crew, while Michael and I were walking back to the living room. Don’t know what you were talking about but this whole situation the we’ve just had has been a bit much for me.”

“I wanna pet the fluffy kitty, again,” Gavin said.

“If the rest of the Lads want a break, then so do I,” Michael said.

Geoff and Jack sighed in defeat. “Fine. Ryan, show us where your office is so we can discuss upcoming events,” Geoff said.

Ryan nodded. He led Geoff and Jack out of the entranceway and to his office and the dog followed them out. Jon rolled his eyes and sighed. He would never understand the ridiculousness of the Fake AH Crew, but knew Ryan loved his crew, even with their poor timing for things.

“So… how did you get Ryan to just calm down like that?” Jeremy asked.

Jon glanced down at the silvery engagement ring with onyxes and sapphires that Ryan had given him three years ago. “You could say I have him wrapped around my finger,” he replied.

“It’s pretty impressive. He’s so terrifying to the world, but he seems to go all gooey for you,” Michael said.

“He wasn’t always like that around me. The first time we met involved him threatening to kill me.”

“Wait, he wanted to kill you?” 

Jon nodded.

“And you still kept him around?” Gavin asked.

“And it was the best decision of my life.”

“There has got to be a story of him wanting to murder you, then falling in love with you,” Jeremy said.

“Come to the living room with me and I’ll tell you the story of how Ryan and I met and eventually got together,” Jon said as he motioned for the Lads to follow him.

They walked to the living room and the Lads settled on the couch. Jon sat in a lounge chair by the couch. “Okay, this is the story of how Ryan and I…” Jon was interrupted by the murpping of the fluffy cat. The cat hopped up onto Gavin’s lap and started purring.

“D’aw, I think your cat likes me,” Gavin cooed.

Jon smiled. “Vernon is a very friendly cat. And Clarice, the St. Bernard, is also a very friendly dog. I’ll talk a little bit about them after the end of the story.”

“Now even I’m curious,” Michael said.

Jon clapped his hands together. “So, this is the story of how the Vagabond and the Rismonger fell in love.

__________________________________________________

_The criminal world was turned upside-down in 2008. One of the members of the most notorious crews in the country, the Blood Gulch Crew, had split from their ranks to go start his on crew in Los Santos. After that member left the crew, the rest of the crew broke apart._

_The Rismonger had been an avid follower of the Blood Gulch Crew, keeping the fear of that crew alive with his news and rumors of the chaos that they caused. But with the crew broken up, the Rismonger felt like his rumor mill had no fuel to go on. Sure, there were other mafias, crews, and criminal empires out there to spread news about, but none of them were quite as fun as the Blood Gulch Crew. He needed to come up with an idea of how to keep in rumor mill turning._

_The Rismonger thought that maybe it would be a good idea to follow the former Blood Gulch Crew member, “Grif,” to Los Santos to see how that new crew venture was treating him and to see if it was actually successful. Luckily, it had been a success for “Grif,” or “Kingpin” or “Ramsey” as he was now calling himself. Kingpin had managed to pull together a driver, a demolitions expert, a sniper, and a hacker who had previously worked a bit with him in his old crew. They called themselves the Fake AH Crew and they caused chaos all over Los Santos, giving the Rismonger plenty of material to work with._

_Of course, the Fake AH Crew hired additional gunmen to assist with their heists. The additional hire that caught the Rismonger’s attention was a mercenary called the Vagabond. The man wore a black leather jacket with silver stripes on the sleeves and blue shoulders, black jeans and boots, and a vinyl skull mask. The mask was supposedly considered scary to the people the Vagabond tortured, but the Rismonger thought the mask sounded tacky. If the Vagabond wore a cheap mask to try and scare his victims, then he clearly shouldn’t be taken seriously. And Rismonger was determined to let the underground of Los Santos know that the Vagabond was a big phony and shouldn’t be taken seriously._

_Rismonger spread rumors questioning the legitimacy of the Vagabond, going out of his way to try and ruin his reputation. The Vagabond, of course, got word of this and couldn’t let it slide. Though his personal hacking skills weren’t the most refined, after a few months, he was able to hack into the Rismonger’s blog and trace the location of his computer. The Rismonger noticed he had been traced and prepared to fight back if necessary._

_On evening, the Rismonger was typing up a blog talking about how fake the Vagabond’s skull mask looked when the door of his apartment busted open. There was a loud roar of anger coming from whomever had broken in and the intruder stalked in, searching for Rismonger. Rismonger gulped, he had been expecting this. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at the door to his office._

_“RISEMONGER!!!!” the intruder yelled. They ran into the office, gun pointed at the Rismonger. The Vagabond had finally found him._

_“So, you finally found me, trying to prove you’re not a big phony. It’s almost cute,” the Rismonger taunted._

_“You’re a fool to run your mouth when you know absolutely nothing!”_

_“You’re all for theatrics. Who besides a child would even be afraid of a vinyl skull mask, like you have? Keep your Halloween costumes saved for October!”_

_The Vagabond roared and ran at the Rismonger. The Rismonger was quick and tried to get out of Vagabond’s reach, but the Vagabond was able to catch the Rismonger and slammed him against the wall, making the Rismonger drop his gun. As the Vagabond was pulling the Rismonger up, he was able to grab the skull mask and rip it off the Vagabond, revealing his real face. The Vagabond roared in anger as he pulled the Rismonger away and slammed him against the wall, again._

_“Now, I’m going to make your death especially more gruesome,” the Vagabond growled as he pressed his gun against the Rismonger’s temple._

_The Rismonger looked up at the Vagabond and blinked. The Vagabond had black hair, pulled back in short ponytail. He also had a strong jaw, a sharp nose, and piercing blue eyes. Overall, he was actually very handsome. An idea of how to get out of he could possibly get out of this situation quickly popped into the Rismonger’s mind._

_“You know, a scowl doesn’t suit you,” the Rismonger said with a confident smirk._

_The Vagabond’s eyebrows furrowed deeper; this man was so close to death, yet he still chooses to provoke him. “You choose to continue to make fun of me before you die?!”_

_“I don’t know if I’m actually gonna die here.”_

_“OF COURSE, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!”_

_“I actually have some other ideas for things I could do besides die.” The Rismonger said in a flirty manner._

_The Vagabond tilted his head in confusion; was the Rismonger trying to flirt with him? “What’s with that tone?” he asked._

_“I’m going to try something before you ‘kill me,’” Jon said. Then, he reached up with his free hand as grabbed the Vagabond’s chin. The Vagabond blinked in shock when the Rismonger pulled his head forward and pulled him into a deep kiss._

_The Vagabond felt the movement of the Rismonger’s lips on his; the gesture confused him. It had been years since someone had kissed him like that. He wasn’t sure if it had really been that long since he had kissed someone like that, or the kiss was just that magical._

_The Rismonger pulled away and coughed. “I’m sorry that I did that…” the Rismonger apologized._

_“Huh?” the Vagabond asked, still reeling in shock from the kiss._

_“Kissing you without your consent was completely wrong of me and I shouldn’t have done it. If you want to kill me now, you would be completely justified.”_

_“I…” the Vagabond stuttered. He dropped his gun and touched his lips. He had to figure out if the kiss had really been that good. “Kiss me, again,” he commanded._

_“What?” the Rismonger asked, blinking in surprise._

_“Kiss me. Again.”_

_The Rismonger gulped and pulled the Vagabond back in for another kiss. His tongue entered the Vagabond’s mouth while the Vagabond’s entered his. He tried to explore new areas of the mouth that he hadn’t ventured to yet.. The Vagabond dropped the Rismonger and grabbed the shoulders of the Rismonger’s jacket and pulled him out of it. In response, the Rismonger unzipped the Vagabond’s jacket and tried to work him out of it. The Vagabond pulled away and quickly got out of his jacket. He came right back in and started making out with the Rismonger again._

_The Rismonger stuck his hands on the Vagabond’s butt and squeezed. The Vagabond started to palm at the Rismonger’s crotch when the Rismonger broke the kiss. “I think I know where this is going,” he said._

_“Do you?”_

_“I think the bedroom would be a better place for this.”_

_“I’m not sure where your bedroom is, so you’re gonna have to lead the way,” the Vagabond replied in a gravelly voice._

_The Rismonger gave a confident smirk. He grabbing the Vagabond by the collar and pulling him to his bedroom. When they got there, he pushed the Vagabond onto the bed and began rummaging through his dresser for supli-_

__________________________________________________

“So, your old crew knows about how you all were pining for me when Jon and I got engaged, and now they’re all coming to visit and they want to see if I’m still loyal to you?” Ryan asked as he, Geoff and Jack walked into the room, interrupting Jon’s story.

“That’s basically it,” Geoff replied.

“It shouldn’t be that hard unless our actions tonight ruined that,” Jack said.

Ryan pinched that bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why I deal with you sometimes… but my loyalty remains,” he replied.

“You do it because you still like them, most days,” Jon interjected. Ryan opened his mouth to argue, then closed it and sighed. 

“By the way, were you the one spread rumors about the whole ‘pining debacle’?” he asked Jon.

“What!? No! we talked about that. I promised not to spread that information around as long you still liked your crew!”

Realization crossed Geoff’s face, and he blushed. “Yeah… I, uh, may have accidentally said something to him about that whole thing at some point while we were planning your wedding…” he admitted.

“You’re a fucking idiot, sometimes, you know that?” Ryan said. Geoff sheepishly shrugged.

“Jon has been telling us the story of how you two got together,” Michael said to try and turn the conversation back to a pleasant place.

“Oh?”

“And I was just about to get to the part about our first sexual encounter,” Jon said.

Ryan’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Actually, could you not talk about that?” Ryan asked.

“How come you want me to leave that out?”

“I’m… not comfortable with the crew knowing about our sex life.”

“Alright, sure.”

“Aw, I was curious to know about it,” Gavin whined.

“I’m not,” Jeremy said. “I walked in on you guys after you two got engaged. And I know Ryan being a bottom was probably a one-time thing, but I don’t really want to know about the rest of it,” he explained, shivering in disgust at the memory.

Ryan gulped, him being a bottom was actually more regular then he was willing to admit to his crew. “Actually…” Jon began to say.

“NOPE!” Ryan yelled.

“Alright, point taken.”

“So, now that I know about the situation, would you guys please get out of my house?”

“Daw Rye-bread, but I wanted to hear more of the Jon and your getting together story,” Gavin whined.

Ryan thought about it. He knew that Gavin and possibly the rest of the lads would keep asking him about it if he didn’t let Jon finish, so he figured that it would just be easier to let him do it now. He went over and sat on the arm of Jon’s chair. “Fine. But when Jon’s done, you all need to get the fuck out,” he said.

“Cool.”

“So, can you fill us in on what we missed so far?” Geoff asked.

“Basically, Jon was spreading bullshit rumors about the Vagabond being a phony. Vagabond got mad and went to kill him. Jon kissed him to try and escape death. Ryan liked the kiss and they started making out. I pretty sure it turned into sex, I think,” Michael explained.

“It did,” Jon said to confirm.

“Ah,” Jack said and nodded in understanding.

“I’m going to continue now, okay?”

“Alright,” Geoff said.

“But, please skip to the post-sex scene,” Ryan said.

“Okay, honey.” 

__________________________________________________

_Both the Rismonger and the Vagabond sat up in bed after they had finished their rounds sex. The Vagabond was out of breath after having some of the best sex he had had in a very long time; it had been enjoyable since he decided to relinquish control. Rismonger had much more stamina than the Vagabond, so he was still able to breath steadily. They had had sex well into the early morning._

_The Rismonger pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one so he could smoke. He offered the box to the Vagabond. The Vagabond took a moment for his breath to even out, then he took one. The Rismonger leaned over and lit the Vagabond’s cigarette for him._

_“Thanks,” he said._

_The Rismonger took a drag of his cigarette. “Well, that was fun,” he said._

_“I…” The Vagabond started to say. He took a deep breath. “That did not go as planned…”_

_“You know, your cigarette is gonna burn out if you don’t smoke it,” the Rismonger said. The Vagabond took a drag. “I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.”_

_The Vagabond had enjoyed it a little more than he was willing to admit. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. “It wasn’t bad. But just so you know, I’m not much of a one-night stand kind of guy,” he replied._

_“Well, I’m not much of a relationship kind of guy, if that was what you were insinuating.”_

_“I was just hoping to get to know you better, but I could just come back here to try and kill you, again.”_

_“No, please don’t. Look,” the Rismonger started to say. He put out his cigarette in an ashtray next to his bed. “Normally my rumors are based on fact, but my Vagabond ones were more based on my own opinions. I now see that you can be very intimidating. And even though how you were in bed doesn’t seem to reflect that, I now know I shouldn’t lie to the world about something I knew so little about.”_

_“I’m assuming that was an apology of sorts.”_

_“It was.”_

_“Well, apology accepted,” the Vagabond replied. He took one last drag of his cigarette before he snuffed it out._

_The Rismonger nodded. “But if you do want to get to know the real me, I’m going to want to get to know the real you.”_

_“That can be arranged.”_

_“Let’s start with names, then. I’ll start. Hello, my name is Jon Risinger,” the Rismonger said as he offered his hand to shake._

_The Vagabond looked at his hand and took a deep breath. “…Ryan Haywood,” the Vagabond introduced himself as he shook Jon’s hand._

_“It’s nice to meet you, Ryan.”_

_“You as well, Jon.”_

_“By the way, I have a little tip for you. If you ever get in a situation where someone rips off your mask, again, you might want to give yourself extra identity protection over your real face. Face paint underneath might be a good idea.”_

_“I like that idea. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Ryan replied with a smile._

_Jon returned the smile. “I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful ‘Friends with Benefits,” he said._

_“Friends with Benefits,” Ryan replied in agreement._

_And so, Ryan Haywood and Jon Risinger began a platonic physical relationship. This continued for the next eight months.. Over the course of those eight months, the two of them began to grow feelings that were less than platonic for each other, though neither one of them was quite sure how to admit that to the other._

_Eight months after the relationship began, Ryan was offered a fulltime job as a part of the Fake AH Crew. This was big news since the Fake AH Crew was the most powerful crew in Los Santos. The Vagabond’s infamy grew exponentially after the Rismonger stopped trying to destroy his reputation, and the Rismonger even created rumors that made fear of the Vagabond grow even more._

_To celebrate the Vagabond joining the Fake AH Crew, Jon and Ryan had a very special session of sex. Jon even let Ryan to-_

__________________________________________________

“NOPE! YOU ARE NOT TELLING THEM ABOUT US FUCKING!” Ryan shouted.

“But that time would have lined up more with…” Jon started to argue.

“STILL NO!”

“Fine,” Jon replied with a sigh.

“Geez Ryan, why do you care so much about keeping your sex life a secret. The rest of us are pretty open about ours,” Michael said.

“I wouldn’t show you all my face for years, why the hell would I be comfortable talking about my sex life?!”

“Are you going to get to you and Ryan starting to date, soon?” Jeremy asked.

“I was just about to,” Jon replied.

“Can we please hurry this up?” Geoff asked.

Jon nodded and began to tell the story, again.

__________________________________________________

_Ryan decided that since he had just received a steady job in a crew, it would be a good chance to ask Jon out on a date. He knew that Jon was not all that interested in romantic relationships, but the romantic feelings were going to eat away at Ryan if he didn’t say something. The most he could hope for was that it didn’t damage the friends-with-benefits relationship that he and Jon shared too much._

_Jon pulled out his usual pack of cigarettes to have his smoke. He offered the pack to Ryan. “No thanks,” Ryan said._

_Jon blinked. Normally, Ryan would smoke with him. Had he decided that no longer enjoyed smoking with him anymore? Jon shrugged, trying to play off the paranoid thought, and went to light his cigarette._

_“Actually, could you not smoke yet? I have something I would like to talk to you about and I don’t want you to be distracted.” Jon gulped. Was Ryan ending what they had together? He thought he had been subtle about his crush on him. Had Ryan figured out that he had a crush on him and was rejecting him?_

_Ryan took a deep breath. “When we first started this friends-with-benefits relationship, you had said that you weren’t the type of person who did romantic relationships. I wasn’t sure I actually could do romance either, but emotions that I thought I had suppressed long ago resurfaced. I didn’t know how to respond, but I’m not sure suppressing them again would be very easy if I wanted to continue what we have.” Jon looked at Ryan in confusion. What exactly was he talking about? “Jon, you’ve helped me out so much and I believe I’ve fallen for you,” Ryan said, blushing._

_Jon’s jaw dropped in surprise; he had not been expecting that. “Look, I’m sorry my emotions started flaring up. I’m not used to it. But If I never said anything, they would eat me alive,” Ryan said nervously. “Dammit, I probably ruined everything. We can just pretend that I never said anything and continue having casual sex like we normally do, because this sex is some of the most fun I’ve ever had. Fucking dammit, Haywood, you’re just making it-" He was cut off by Jon slamming his lips on to his._

_Ryan stared at Jon when their lips parted again. . “You’re an idiot, you know that?” Jon asked._

_“I…” Ryan stuttered._

_“Because I seemed to have fallen for you, as well. I was just too scared to say anything.”_

_Ryan thought about how to respond for a moment. “So, I have a crush on you and you have a crush on me?” he asked for clarification._

_“That seem to be the case,” Jon replied with a smile._

_“Oh! So… would you like to go on a date, sometime?”_

_“I would like that very much.”_

_“Excellent,” Ryan said, grinning._

_“So, is there anything else that you’d like to do tonight?”_

_“Would it be to forward to ask if we could cuddle?”_

_Jon snorted. “Ryan, we’ve been fucking for eight months, I think cuddling is pretty tame in comparison.”_

_“I was just worried about the romantic implications of…” Ryan paused as Jon snuggled in close to him._

_“You know, despite having chiseled abs,” he paused to yawn, “you’re pretty easy to… cuddle up to…” Jon mumbled as he started to doze off._

_Ryan blinked and gave Jon a fond smile. He leaned closer into Jon and started stroking his hair._

__________________________________________________

“THAT WAS BLOODY ADORABLE!” Gavin shouted. Ryan and Jon looked at each other with fond admiration.

“Would not have expected something as sickeningly sweet as that,” Geoff said.

Ryan looked back up at Geoff. “The sweetness of my domestic life changes nothing about me nor the fear I bring to Los Santos.”

“I don’t know man, I might not be able to take you as seriously, now that I know you’re a doting husband,” Michael teased.

“Talk like that is gonna get you animal carcasses in your bed!” Clarice walked into the room and sat down at Jon’s feet. She looked up at Ryan with sad eyes. “Not you, you idiot. I love you too much,” Ryan said as he gently pet the top of the dog’s head.

Jeremy looked up. “Oh yeah! I just remembered that Jon said he was gonna talk about how you got your pets.”

“Oh, that’s actually not as interesting as it may seem. We got Vernon right after we got engaged and we got Clarice when we got this house, about a year and a half ago.”

“It’s still pretty cute, seeing your cute little domestic family. Or at least as much of a domestic life as a mercenary and an informant can get,” Jack replied.

“Speaking of domestic life, I think it’s about time that you all leave,” Ryan said.

“But we were just starting to fit into your domesticity,” Geoff complained.

“I mean…” Jon started to say when Ryan leaned down and whispered a request into his ear. Jon blushed. He looked back up at Ryan and nodded. “We’d like to get back to our anniversary time, so we’d like to say good bye the sooner the better.”

“But your couch is super comfy,” Michael argued.

“And Vernon likes my lap, it’d be a crime to move him,” Gavin added his argument.

Ryan groaned. “Oh, for the love of… YOU ALL RUDELY INTERRUPTED JON AND I WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO START FUCKING, EARLIER, AND WE’D LIKE TO GO HAVE KINKY ANNIVERSARY SEX!!!” Ryan yelled.

The crew began blushing furiously. “I think it’s time to go,” Jack quickly said.

“I agree, we should leave immediately,” Jeremy replied, just as quickly. 

Michael got up next, but then paused. “Wait, does that weird torture chamber that you have here have something to do with the kinky sex? Because the more I think about it, the more it seems like it was a sex dun-”

Ryan's face flushed in embarrassment; they definitely weren't supposed to know about _that_ “LEAVE!!!!!” Ryan screeched in angry embarrassment.

Michael quickly rushed to the front door. The rest of the crew quickly got up and followed behind Michael.

“We can plan for Blood Gulch Crew tomorrow afternoon, but we’d like you to leave, now,” Ryan called out as the crew was exited the house.

“Got it!” Geoff called back as he slammed the front door. 

“AND NEVER COME BACK HERE!” Ryan yelled from inside the house.

The crew shuttered in discomfort, outside. “So… that was a thing…” Gavin awkwardly said.

“And, let’s pretend it never happened,” Geoff replied.

“Done,” Michael replied.

“Let’s just go back to the penthouse.”

“…Is it too late for movie night when we get back?” Jeremy asked. Geoff and the Lads groaned in response. 

Jack looked at his watch. It was 11:36 pm. “I think you might be the only one still up for movie night, Lil’ J,” he said.

Jeremy sighed in defeat. “Fine, let’s just go back to the penthouse and try to forget tonight.”

Everyone thought about what had just occurred and shivered. “I’m going to bed,” Geoff said.

“Me too,” Gavin replied. 

Everyone piled back into the truck that they had arrived in. They now understood that there were many sides to the Vagabond, and those sides were never something for the crew to understand. The violent mercenary was allowed to have his peace, but the crew never wanted to think about what that peace entailed. No matter what, he was still loyal to the Fake AH Crew and he was going to help the make sure Blood Gulch Crew’s visit went smoothly. And that’s all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic of 2019. I'm going through a bunch of life changes (positive changes), and I don't know what my imagination will come up with next. I guess I'm fixated on this AU because it's surrounds a different ship than what I'd normally do. IDK man. This story was just cute to think of.


End file.
